We have all had hard times in our life but some of us have hit a lower bottom than others, this was me when my ex left. I went from a stay at home mom to a single mom on food stamps. Now I want to clarify that I was getting child support from my ex; still its just his income was not high enough to support 2 households.
This post is actually hard for me to write because for a lot of you (my friends) this is the first you have heard about me being on Food Stamps, and it was my pride that kept it from you. When I was debating applying for benefits or not I had to lay down my pride and think of my girls and make the decision that was best for them.
Being on this program I realized that there are times in people’s lives when extra help is needed. I needed this help for a little bit. I knew when I went on the program that my goal was to get off it as soon as possible, I went out and got a job just 2 weeks after receiving benefits. I am happy to say that as of today I no longer qualify!
I am grateful that the program is in place because it helped me take care of my girls when I needed it. Before this experience I had very strong opinions about government assistance. Now actually having needed this assistance and walking in the shoes of the people I judged has humbled me and given me a new perspective. I can now see that people just need help sometimes.
Why I do everything I do.
Okay so I came across an article that has some pretty surprising statistics now this study was done in 2011 and was released by Pew Research and conducted by National Survey of Family Growth. In this research it was found that divorced or unwed fathers that see their children once or more a week is right around 22%, fathers that see their children 1 to 4 times a month is 29% and fathers that have no contact with their children is right around 27%.
These numbers are very disturbing especially considering how important it is to have male role models in a child’s life. From education to obesity there have been numerous studies that show having a father in the home of a child just benefits the child (of course as long as the father is not abusive) http://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistics
As a mother of two little girls I worry everyday about the effects of not having a male in my house will have on them. They right now only see their dad about 8 days a month and most likely that will be changing to less sometime soon. Sure there are men in their life that are good examples but at night when I am home alone with them and I am sick but I still have to get them ready for bed it is just me. They do not see that a real man would be helping me and (hopefully) take over for the night so I could rest.
I also wonder why it is that men are able to spend less time with their kids? Do they not miss them? Do they think that this really is for their best? As a mom I cannot imagine life without my kids, everything I do I do it for them.
When it comes to my kids I have to remember that even though contact with their dad is less than it used to be, they are now seeing a strong mom that is trying her hardest to give them the best life possible. And that is a lesson I hope goes a long way.