Okay so what is the definition of a perfect housewife? Is it the women you see in the grocery store that looks like she never had a child even though she has 3 with her? Is it the mom who is at every drop off an pick up of her child and there on time? Or is it the mom who cooks, cleans and puts all of her families needs in front of her own? I recently came across an article about how mother’s today are on average heavier than they were 50 years ago. Now I think this is fair because as a country in whole we have gotten bigger, why then would it be any different for mothers? My problem with this is that moms whether stay at home or working are under a huge amount of pressure. My best friend is an awesome mom she loves her children so much and she is also working, not just any work she is the bread winner for her family and is out of the house for about 10 hours a day. But like I said she is an awesome mom. For her and her family it made sense for her to go back to work after having children. Now me, I am a stay at home mom, as I mentioned in my about me I came into this role accidentally, my oldest daughter (Faith) was born with a heart defect and a suppressed immune system so daycare could of happened but for us we were able to work out our finances so that I could stay home. Since then we have had another little girl (Becky) I have been home now for 5 years and it has worked for my family. I am not the most disciplined mother and my goal for my kids is to raise them so they don’t have to recover from me! But I try my hardest to meet the “perfect housewife” standard, and it is exhausting.
When I was in Calvinism I read a book called “The Excellent Wife” (not recommended) in this book it had suggestions on how to be the perfect wife. One of these suggestions was that a wife should always be put together for her husband, so makeup on and nice
clothes all the time. Also you should be able to take care of dinner and just let you husband relax after work, the best (sarcasm) was when I was told I should never deny my husband sex even if I was sick! If he wanted sex not being in the mood was not a good reason to say no. I am sure now you can see why this is not a recommended book, well being the “perfect” Calvinist I decided that I needed to follow these instructions in order to make my husband happy (thankfully he was disgusted about the sex one if I did want it he didn’t want to make me). Well this lasted all of 3 weeks before I finally threw in the towel, I realized that my husband did not care how clean the house was or if I was made up. What he wanted was for me to be happy and for our family to work.
I recently started watching Mad Men (thanks Netflix!) and I am surprised at how far housewives and women in general have come sine the 1960’s, however we today are still scrutinized more than men. We have to be prefect little girls, then polite teenagers, then respectable young women so we can get a man, then we have to be the prefect wife and maybe mother. We might get more respect today but the expectations are still the same, so what if my kids watch T.V.? I know what all the studies say about media but the people who hold these studies do not see what my house is like. I think people need to back off and just let wives and mothers BE, imagine a world where that was okay, I think we would have some pretty happy women.