Finding love

About 2 years ago my life was just being put back together, I was coming out of the darkness that my divorce caused. By the end of January of that year I was healed and ready to move on. Now, this did not mean I was ready to date, but it did mean I was ready to live my life, so one weekend when my children were with their dad, I called up an old friend. Now calling this person a friend is using the term loosely, the connection is hard but give me a minute to explain this…

Okay so this person is Aaron

My ex-mother-in-law was in her 4th marriage when I got married, she married a man named Dale and Dale has triplets that are my age and a younger child (who I think is 5 years younger) so for a time Dale’s children were my step siblings in-laws.

When I was pregnant with Faith, Dale’s daughter (one of the triplets) began dating Aaron. I actually met him for the first time when I was 36 weeks expecting!

They dated for about 4 years and broke up when Becky was around 1, in this time we would talk and were friendly but nothing more (we were both in love and in committed

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Faith playing with Uncle Aaron

relationships) Faith actually called him Uncle Aaron!

 

Fast forward 2 years and I was at a gas station filling up when I saw someone I recognized at another pump, it was Aaron. Now, my looks had changed since he had last seen me, the baby weight was gone and really he only knew me when I was either pregnant or postpartum. I was excited to see him after so long so I went over and he didn’t even recognize me! We talked and I invited him to dinner so we all (myself, my ex-husband and himself) could catch up. This dinner never happened and in retrospect, it’s probably a good thing 😉 .

Now fast forward another 2 years I knew he was living in the area and really I just wanted to go out one night. I called him to see if he was available and we talked for 2 hours and decided to meet that weekend for “a girls night out”. Well, to say the least, that night did not turn out to be a girls night out it was in fact, our first date. From there, our relationship slowly grew (of course we began dating right before my ex-husband took his 1st month long hiatus) so we had to take things slow. The beginning was hard and I relied on family and friends to watch the girls for me so we could see each other, and in this first month, I think we saw each other a whopping 3 times!!

But regardless of the time, we spent together our relationship continued to grow and then the weekend of Mother’s day 2015 he met the girls for the first time!

Since that point, things have just gone up and this past September he proposed and I said yes!!

The wedding is scheduled for June and we are all so happy, the girls love him and so do I. I am thankful that he is in our life and am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

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Dance Class

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Becky has dance class every Friday and she loves it! Now of course a class that is in the middle of a weekday there are all stay at home moms there. This was never a problem up until recently when I no longer fit the description. So I bring my Kindle and read while she is in dance, but today I couldn’t help but over hear the conversations that were happening around me, they all had to do with their husbands and kids.

Now this got me wondering why do we as women define ourselves as wives and mothers before anything else? I know I did this and now I am trying to change that, sure I am a mom but being a mom is not all I am. I thought I was a great wife and then that ended. I wanted to ask these women what else they like to do, what are their hobbies, interests?

These are things I would of never asked myself but now that I have times when my children are not with me it makes me wonder what do I really want (at least when their are no kids around) and it is really nice to think that being a mom doesn’t have to define my whole entire life that I can be something else to.

Now I tried to talk to one of these moms a few weeks ago and when I mentioned that I was going through a divorce and was a stay at home mom so returning to work was necessary the tone of the conversation changed completely. And we haven’t spoken since.

So at dance class I will continue to bring my Kindle and read while all the other moms converse amongst themselves.

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