Finding love

About 2 years ago my life was just being put back together, I was coming out of the darkness that my divorce caused. By the end of January of that year I was healed and ready to move on. Now, this did not mean I was ready to date, but it did mean I was ready to live my life, so one weekend when my children were with their dad, I called up an old friend. Now calling this person a friend is using the term loosely, the connection is hard but give me a minute to explain this…

Okay so this person is Aaron

My ex-mother-in-law was in her 4th marriage when I got married, she married a man named Dale and Dale has triplets that are my age and a younger child (who I think is 5 years younger) so for a time Dale’s children were my step siblings in-laws.

When I was pregnant with Faith, Dale’s daughter (one of the triplets) began dating Aaron. I actually met him for the first time when I was 36 weeks expecting!

They dated for about 4 years and broke up when Becky was around 1, in this time we would talk and were friendly but nothing more (we were both in love and in committed

img_3690

Faith playing with Uncle Aaron

relationships) Faith actually called him Uncle Aaron!

 

Fast forward 2 years and I was at a gas station filling up when I saw someone I recognized at another pump, it was Aaron. Now, my looks had changed since he had last seen me, the baby weight was gone and really he only knew me when I was either pregnant or postpartum. I was excited to see him after so long so I went over and he didn’t even recognize me! We talked and I invited him to dinner so we all (myself, my ex-husband and himself) could catch up. This dinner never happened and in retrospect, it’s probably a good thing 😉 .

Now fast forward another 2 years I knew he was living in the area and really I just wanted to go out one night. I called him to see if he was available and we talked for 2 hours and decided to meet that weekend for “a girls night out”. Well, to say the least, that night did not turn out to be a girls night out it was in fact, our first date. From there, our relationship slowly grew (of course we began dating right before my ex-husband took his 1st month long hiatus) so we had to take things slow. The beginning was hard and I relied on family and friends to watch the girls for me so we could see each other, and in this first month, I think we saw each other a whopping 3 times!!

But regardless of the time, we spent together our relationship continued to grow and then the weekend of Mother’s day 2015 he met the girls for the first time!

Since that point, things have just gone up and this past September he proposed and I said yes!!

The wedding is scheduled for June and we are all so happy, the girls love him and so do I. I am thankful that he is in our life and am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

20161225_154807

Advertisements

Dads where are you?

27299443-Absent-dad-or-deadbeat-father-concept-as-a-traffic-sign-with-a-mother-and-two-children-and-a-daddy-i-Stock-Photo

Okay so I came across an article that has some pretty surprising statistics now this study was done in 2011 and was released by Pew Research and conducted by National Survey of Family Growth. In this research it was found that divorced or unwed fathers that see their children once or more a week is right around 22%, fathers that see their children 1 to 4 times a month is 29% and fathers that have no contact with their children is right around 27%.

These numbers are very disturbing especially considering how important it is to have male role models in a child’s life. From education to obesity there have been numerous studies that show having a father in the home of a child just benefits the child (of course as long as the father is not abusive) http://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistics

As a mother of two little girls I worry everyday about the effects of not having a male in my house will have on them. They right now only see their dad about 8 days a month and most likely that will be changing to less sometime soon. Sure there are men in their life that are good examples but at night when I am home alone with them and I am sick but I still have to get them ready for bed it is just me. They do not see that a real man would be helping me and (hopefully) take over for the night so I could rest.

I also wonder why it is that men are able to spend less time with their kids? Do they not miss them? Do they think that this really is for their best? As a mom I cannot imagine life without my kids, everything I do I do it for them.

When it comes to my kids I have to remember that even though contact with their dad is less than it used to be, they are now seeing a strong mom that is trying her hardest to give them the best life possible. And that is a lesson I hope goes a long way.